The Crossfit Games have always been intended to crown the best but also the most well-rounded athletes in the world. It's a grueling four day event, intended to push athletes to their absolute limits. While it's received much criticism over the years, one critique has finally shown through; there could be more puking.
After summoning Marilyn Manson and Satan on a Ouija board, David Castro devised his next big plan for the games: a hot dog eating contest. Sponsored by Nathan's new, paleo-friendly hot dogs, the event is rumored to be a Fran-like 21-15-9. The couplet in this case is clusters and pounding paleo-friendly hot dogs. Athletes are penalized 10 seconds for each time they stop to puke. But if they puke 10 or more times, 20 seconds will be deducted from their time for each time they puke after the 10th time.
"I felt this really stretched the boundaries of strategy in this event." Castro stated, "Either you're gonna try to hold it in, or you're going all out. By the way, athletes will be tested for syrup of ipecac after the event. "
Athletes never thought they'd see the day when a drug used by poison control to induce vomiting would joint the ranks of EPO and anabolic steroids as a performance enhancing drug. Welcome to the new Crossfit Games.
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