Crossfit Games to add hot dog eating event
The Crossfit Games have always been intended to crown the best but also the most well-rounded athletes in the world. It's a grueling...
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NASA scientists confirm Planet Fitness a moon
Suffering a similar fate as Pluto, NASA scientists have confirmed Planet Fitness actually a moon, claiming it to be in orbit of a planet...
Instagramer photoshops extra skin on stomach to appear more genuine
Clara noticed her Instagram following begin to taper off, after a few followers called her out for appearing too elite. "Real women...
Opinion: Sonic creates unrealistic body standards for hedgehogs
First off, he's blue! No hedgehog in the history of hedgehoggery is blue! Hedgehogs vary in in shades of brown and gray. I'm Algerian...
Time again to shed those holiday pounds by adopting an unsustainable lifestyle and giving up
New year, new you. This year is gonna be different, for some reason. This is the year you renew the gym membership and actually go....
Hedgehog runs without GPS watch, doesn't see what the big deal is
Every night I eat some food from my bowl and run on my wheel. I run like Edward Norton's character in Fight Club talks about running;...
Interview with the guy who never racks his weights
The Push Press met up with Mark Page, a self-proclaimed bodybuilder, most known for leaving his weights unracked. Mark is pictured...
Mark Zuckerberg gets jacked, yo
After explaining to congress how to unplug the modem and plug it back in, Mark soon saw how much the CEO life had affected his body. As...
Man asked to buy silicone wedding ring after dropping 7 months salary on diamond
Derek Wainwright is the first to admit that he's a Type A personality, always prepared for the next thing about to hit him. But he never...
Hedgehog says "Kale sucks, you weirdos"
OK, first off it's a plant. Gross! What's up with you humans and eating decorative plants people grow by their mailboxes? You kill a...
Crossfit bars several athletes, testing positive for midi-chlorian
"The force is what gives the Jedi his power, it binds the galaxy together. Midi-chlorian are the source of it. It makes sense athletes...
Bodybuilder suffers sinus infection after snorting giant mound of whey protein
Say hello to my little friend! After a trip to the emergency room and a shot of penicillin, self-proclaimed bodybuilder Dave Furlong...
Co-workers rejoice knowing they won't hear about the Open WOD next Monday
To the outside world, crossfitters are just a bunch of weirdos with a love/hate relationship with those "jumpy push-up things." For the...
Fitness influencer accused of plagiarizing teen's diary
It's not uncommon to see such stunning and glamorous photos on Daphne Jenkins' Instagram (@daphnerunsfar). Jenkins is a self proclaimed...
Hedgehog not surprised by sports helmet biomimicry
I'm hearing sports equipment manufacturers, like Riddell, are using hedgehog biomimicry. They're using the shape of my awesome quills to...
Chickpeas renamed "Bro Peas"
In an effort to convert more males into adopting the vegan lifestyle, Windsong Heffeweizer of the Orwell County Vegan and Organic...
Hedgehog not impressed with Kipchoge's 1:59:40 marathon
Everyone is all up in arms this man ran a marathon in under 2 hours. Nonsense! As a hedgehog, I am not impressed. Here I am, logging...
Study shows you're not healthy, you don't eat this crap
Not sure if those are almonds or chili peppers someone left out in the sun, but you're not eating enough of them. Scientists at...
Mat Fraser spells name with one "t" to conserve energy
It's thermodynamics. He's really putting that engineering degree to use. Quite often, people named Matthew have a tendency to go by...
Castro admits: "I hate Crossfitters and want them to suffer."
Chillin' with the WOD design villian. Another crossfit open workout is down the drain. As he begins to scheme up the next one, cackling...
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